December 22, 2020
Most of you might not know that February 2019 our family was rocked when a doctor confirmed that I had testicular cancer. Our world was shaken that day, but as a family we stood together and we have looked to God for strength, peace, and grace everyday since. Our cancer journey has had it’s highs and lows physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. While I write this we are four weeks away from our one year mark! I want to be honest and vulnerable for just a moment. My hope is to share my heart and inspire you and your family to, with God and with each other, push and persevere in whatever your journey might be. I was recently given a book titled; “Pastors Are People Too”. What a sweet reminder that whoever you are, whatever you do, or wherever you are, we are all human. As humans, we are fragile and at times we are lost and broken. May we find God and allow Him to mend us, strengthen us, and lead us through!
December 22, 2020 I had a tough day. For two hours my mind drifted to a dark place. I could not control thoughts of “what if?” What if I die from cancer? What if I need chemotherapy? What if chemotherapy causes side effects? What will happen to Hannah? What will happen to Ella and Olive? I was scared, worried, and anxious. I could not stop crying. I couldn’t not even articulate to Hannah what was going on. She was so perfect though. She held me tight and just listened. I have never in my life experienced something like this before. It was real, and it was scary. As wild as this moment was I am grateful for what happened. Grateful because through it God was near. Hannah was near. Close friends were near. Olive reminds us often of the Bible verse we held tight together for 2020. I kept repeating it during this experience.
“This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” {Joshua 1:9}
Mental and emotional health is vital for all! We are in this together! I believe wholeheartedly that mental and emotional health is tethered to our spiritual and physical health too. I know that I am not alone when it comes to experiences like I had. To be honest, I know that there are many who face moments like this more frequently. Here are some statistics I found provided by The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI):
1 in 5 U.S. adults experience mental illness each year
1 in 20 U.S. adults experience serious mental illness each year
1 in 6 U.S. youth aged 6-17 experience a mental health disorder each year
50% of all lifetime mental illness begins by age 14, and 75% by age 24
Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among people aged 10-13
Pastors and church leaders are not immune to issues stemming from lack of mental health. Here is some information compiled by Bill and Kristi Gaultiere on “Soulshepherding.org”:
75% of pastors report being “extremely stressed” or “highly stressed”
90% work between 55 to 75 hours per week
90% feel fatigued and worn out every week
70% say they’re grossly underpaid
40% report a serious conflict with a parishioner at least once a month
78% were forced to resign from their church (63% at least twice), most commonly because of church conflict
80% will not be in ministry ten years later and only a fraction make it a lifelong career
On average, seminary trained pastors last only five years in church ministry
100% of 1,050 Reformed and Evangelical pastors had a colleague who had left the ministry because of burnout, church conflict, or moral failure
91% have experienced some form of burnout in ministry and 18% say they are “fried to a crisp right now”
I frequently tell people that EARLY DETECTION SAVED MY LIFE. I mean that. I found something. I said something. I got checked out. I cannot imagine what would've happened if I would not have done something about what I first detected. The same is true for our mental health. Tell someone. Call or meet with someone you trust. Get the necessary help. Cry out to God!
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” {Psalms 34:18}
Mental illness is not a new issue. Charles Spurgeon once said, “The mind can descend far lower than the body, for in it there are bottomless pits. The flesh can bear only a certain number of wounds and no more, but the soul can bleed in ten thousand ways, and die over and over again each hour.” If you or someone you know may be at what feels to be a “bottomless pit” know that there is hope. You are not alone! God sees you and is right there with you! Thank you for hearing me out. Feel free to reach out, I’m all ears for you! Get help and begin to build the right support system.